Do As I Say

double rainbow

I had LTE. @vanillabazan (who picked me up hitching outside Kanab in 2016) DM’d to ask me if I was in Last Chance Bay. I replied “I’m just rounding the corner into it!” As I rowed in, I was struck by some headwinds. I decided to pull ashore for a break & to make plans. Each crossing on the Lake was an endeavor against wind, choppy water, zippy boats, and my nerves. Drowning would be easy. I was so nervous. I chewed gum to relax. I chewed it until it was hard. I lay down behind a rock to dodge the sun, and stared at the dead mussels still glued to it, and the red rock’s white calcium coat. A raindrop hit my knee, soon another, and next thing I knew I was hiding from a lightning storm overhead. It cleared, and I decided to make a break for Gregory Butte, on the Navajo side of the lake. Water was relatively calm & winds seemed to be blowing the right way. I took down my sunglasses & confirmed the clouds weren’t as dark as they seemed.

I was nervous, and paddled as hard as I could for the other shore, about mile off. Crosswinds picked up, then some drizzle. No big deal. But then I spun around & saw the storm that broke overhead and seemed to die was NOT DEAD. It was black, and it was shooting sparks. And little me, on a raft, in the water. I paddled harder. I paddled like my life depended on it. But I also meekly surrendered. I knew the shore wouldn’t protect me — I was soaked, my rain jacket’s metal zipper pulled to my chin. (I read Erlich’s “Match To The Heart” over the winter & recommend not reading it.)

Once ashore, and as I dashed for a pile of massive boulders to hide in, hell broke loose and sheets of rain, then hail, poured down. I dug myself into the dirt. I don’t know why – I just did. No escape. I moved away from my phone & rescue beacon, all my metal items except my jacket zipper, knowing full well that wouldn’t help either. Then flashBAOWMB! Lightning struck directly overhead, not even a second between flash & sound this time. 😳

I began to wonder if I was still alive? Am I alive, am I most alive, am I undead, am I reborn? Over my left shoulder, as I sat confounded — rebooting, — this view formed. A double rainbow.

And this is why it’s important to do as I say & not as I do.