HIKELAG

me at north rim grand

The hashtag “hikeLAG” is “hike like a girl” and I don’t know wtf that means because I’m a woman, real deal woman stuff lady bitch woman.

The past 24 hours I had to deal with super clingy men, getting hit on and offered gifts, offers to cuddle to keep ’em warm, and kissed even though I smell like rotting shoes and have a zit on my temple. I gave one guy a fake phone number and I gave the other the slip. I was propositioned for a different kind of car ride this afternoon while hiking down a dirt road. What the?! It makes me angry that without the opportunity to know anything about a guy, he thinks I’m already his game. He thinks I already like him. No, bro. You make me want to puke. You make me pull out my knife. (You make me smoke.) But I can’t tell you that to your face, because that’s not polite. So instead I’m nice, which leads you to believe “I like you,” which I don’t really.

So try “hiking like a girl” sometimes and see how that works out for you.

I’ll hike like an ANIMAL. (Photo by Firecracker)


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