Good News and Funny Jokes
Lately it’s been nothing but good news and funny jokes. I started collecting jokes the other week when suddenly everyone started telling me them. Why suddenly was everyone telling me jokes? Why was my life suddenly filled with good news? Anyway, it’s sort of like a “You are what you eat” deal where, when I am filled with good news and jokes, my life is good news and jokes.
I like filthy jokes, but laugh the same at children’s jokes. What’s your favorite joke?
Yes, ikh, I had a problem deciding how to spell RED. What’s black and white and red all over could also be a dead bloody zebra, or a zebra who just walked under the ladder of a messy red house painter. You never know…
Your favorite joke is very funny. Diarrhea usually is, right?
ok, here’s my favorite joke (don’t know if it will clear the moderation sensors but it sort of relates to nursing)
What’s the difference between a corn farmer with epilepsy and a prostitute with diarhea?
the farmer gets the fits when he shucks…
homonymic puns work better spoken then in “print” cuz “what’s black and white and red all over?” is an embarassed zebra.
What’s black and white and red all over?
The newspaper!
Why cant witches have babies??
Because warlocks have holloweenies!
That’s kind of horrible, huh?
3 Engineers are debating about God.
The 1st engineer says, “God must have been a mechanical engineer because of how the whole muscle/skeletal system is designed.”
The 2nd engineer says, “No, God must be an Electrical Engineer because of how the Central Nervous system is designed.”
The 3rd engineer says, “You’re both wrong. God must have been a Civil Engineer…because only a Civil Engineer would run a sewer line through a recreational area.”