Things Other Nurses Do (Not for the Faint of Heart)

In the world of hospital nursing, there is not very much that makes me nauseated. But Lorna* got me nauseated.

You see, every once in a while a senior nurse will do something they don’t teach in school. Whether it be an outmoded technique, a time-saving trick, or something completely off-target, it always provides insight into the suspiciously – frighteningly – vast scope of nursing practice. What Lorna did had me thinking one of us had clear missed her calling.

Last year I wrote a rap about one nurse’s outmoded, off-target, time-saving trick (NSFW, ironically). This year I write a limerick about Lorna’s:

Whenever Lorna spots comedones
Something inside her comes undone
She launches her attack
extracts noodles from a back
And sure is proud of what she’s won

*Name changed for anonymity of the offender. Spurred by my facetious goading, Lorna did later obtain an unofficial doctor’s order for the “procedure.” I suggested we fill the crater with iodoform packing; however, the doctor quipped, “One gram of Rocephin should do the trick.” Seems like another limerick is in order.